Unbelievable
by excuetee
Summary: Patrick Finnagin comes to Hogwarts, and Dean and Seamus share with him many of the well-kept secrets of our favorite characters. Very slashy. **title and summary edited 7/22/01**


Patrick Finnigan sighed as he sank down into one of the plush armchairs in Gryffindor Tower. First day of Hogwarts, and boy what a day it had been. 'Who knew they made places this big?,' he thought to himself as he absentmindedly fiddled with a loose thread on his robes.   
  
Just then, a tall black boy walked in, closely followed by none other than Patrick's older brother himself.   
  
Seamus and Dean were talking animately when they had stepped into the common room. Upon sighting his brother, however, Seamus stopped and pulled Dean over to where Patrick was sitting.   
  
They sat down, and Seamus grinned at Patrick.   
  
"So, little bro, you made it passed the big bad sorting hat and got into the best House. Congratulations."   
  
"This is the best House? Says who?"   
  
"Well, it's common knowledge, as you will soon discover, that Hufflepuff's the wimps, Ravenclaw's the nerds. Slytherin's the jerks, and Gryffindor is the best."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"You don't sound very excited, little brother. Homesick?"   
  
"NO! Well... a little, I guess. This place is just so...BIG!"   
  
Seamus and Dean laughed. "Yeah," Dean chuckled. "But don't worry too much. It's big, but you get used to it."   
  
"So, little brother, I know the perfect way to rid you of your homesickness. You get some friends."   
  
"Brilliant, Seamus. Just brilliant", said Dean dryly. "Did you hear your brother, Patrick? Go make some friends. NOW!"   
  
"I didn't mean it like tha-at," Seamus whined. And before Dean could interrupt him, he continued, "What I MEANT was that Patrick would have an easier time making friends if he knew, say, all the secrets of the upper-level Hogwarts students!"  
"What exactly do you mean, Seamus?" Patrick asked with interest.   
  
"Well, me and Dean know tons of stuff about practically everyone here, if I do say so myself, and it'll help you make friends. Wanna hear it?"   
  
"Uh..sure."   
  
Seamus took a dramatic deep breath, began pointing to people around the common room.   
  
"See her? The pretty girl with the red hair? That's Ginny Weasley. She's pretty cool, but 'look and don't touch', if you know what I mean."  
  
Patrick stared blankly at Seamus.  
  
"Oh, never mind. Anyway. She dates this girl named Cho Chang, who's a bit of an airhead, but if you so much as hint that in front of Ginny, you'll be out cold for days. Best not mess with her. She doesn't like guys much anyway. She's also well-known for being the youngest and toughest of the famous Weasley clan."   
  
"That's Ron Weasley,fondly nicknamed Ronniekins, Ginny Weasley's older brother. Ron dates the girl sitting next to him, Hermione Granger. She's like, the school genius, you know-ya go to her for answers to any question. Ron is also very protective. Last year, one unfortunate Ravenclaw had the bad luck to smile at her just as Ron came up. This poor bloke was in the hospital wing for a week, only partly due to the fact that he had three broken ribs and a broken nose, and also because various stinging insects kept clawing their way out of his ears."   
  
"That guy with the black hair sitting next to him is the famous Harry Potter. He's really nice; not at all like you'd expect him to be, considering he's so well-known. He's incredible at Quidditch."   
  
Just as Seamus had stopped to take a breath, a light-skinned boy with silver-blonde hair stepped into the common room.   
  
He walked right up to Harry, grabbed his hand, and pulled him stumbling and mumbling, ("...do you always have to be so abrupt?...you could just ask instead of sneaking up on me, ya know..."), up to the boys' dormitories.   
  
"That boy...he's a Slytherin", Patrick breathed, amazed.   
  
The other two boys grinned.   
  
"That's Draco Malfoy, Harry's boyfriend. Looks like he's back again, Dean. How many years is that now?"   
  
"Uhh, they didn't tell us until last year, but I think they dated secretly since fourth year. So this is their third year."   
  
"Harry Potter's... gay?" Patrick asked in disbelief.   
  
"Bi, actually. You see, Ginny and Cho fight a lot. So when they're currently broken up, Ginny will go do it with Malfoy and Harry. They don't mind... By the way, you definitely do not want to get on Harry or Malfoy's bad side. They always back each other up, so if you make, say Harry, mad, and manage to escape his wrath, Malfoy will kill you. And vice-versa."   
  
Seamus grinned at the expression on Patrick's face as he tried to digest the torrent of information he'd just received.   
  
"Really, it's cool. Lots more people here are gay than you would think."   
  
Patrick could only look at him in shock.   
  
"Right. Well. Moving right along."   
  
"See the short boy with the brown hair? The one that's drawing the flower? That's Neville Longbottom, class (unpurposely)klutz. He's nice, but sorta a loner. He's really good with Herbology and plants and all that stuff, and so's Percy Weasley...I think that's what got them together in the first place..."   
  
Dean and Seamus both looked at Patrick with concern; the poor boy seemed to be in a state of shock.   
  
"Straight, Seamus, think of straight couples."   
  
"Err...I can only think of Ron and Hermione. Though I did hear this nasty rumor about Professors Snape and McGonnagal...You know, it's scary, but there aren't that many purely hetrosexual people here."   
  
"Wait", Patrick seemed to finally be able to speak again,"what about you, Seamus? You're not..."   
  
At this point, Dean and Seamus both appeared to find the ceiling extremely interesting, and Seamus began humming off-key.  
  
Seeing this reaction, Patrick got up without a word and went up to the boys' rooms.   
  
"But I wasn't even half done yet! I was just getting started!", Seamus lamented.   
  
"Seamus, love, it's not *in the least* suprising that you weren't done talking. You are *never* done talking. You could make a rock fall asleep, you talk so much..."  
  
Seamus replied irritably, "Fine. I get the picture. But maybe that wasn't such a good idea anyway, telling him all that stuff."  
  
"Maybe not, but it's better than him having to learn that information in teeny weeny little bits and pieces, like we did."  
  
"I guess..."  
  
"Chill." And with that, Dean got up, pulled Seamus to his feet, and they walked up the stairs to their rooms.   
  
Outside the door, Seamus shouted, "Okay. Guys. We're coming in, so get in Harry's bed and pull the drapes closed, PLEASE."   
  
There was a shuffling, and a muffled yell. "Ready!"  
  
Dean opened the door, sighed at the huge mess the two boys had made, and pulled Seamus over to his bed. 


End file.
